OFFICER'S LIES CAUSE FAMILY'S BAD DREAM

MY CPS BAD DREAM (NOT QUITE A NIGHTMARE) BEGAN 2 1/2 YEARS AGO IN THE BEGINNING OF JANUARY. MY MENTALLY ILL DAUGHTER HAD CUT HERSELF AND CALLED 911. THE HOUSE WAS A MESS (CHRISTMAS STUFF AND PRESENTS STILL EVERYWHERE, BAGS OF GIVEAWAY EVERYWHERE AND ALL MY COLLEGE AGE EXCHANGE STUDENT'S WORLDLY GOODS ALL OVER MY LIVING ROOM SINCE HE WAS OUT OF TOWN) AND OFFICER GRADY WAS NOT HAPPY. HE FIRST TOLD ME THAT I DID NOT HAVE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL WITH MY DAUGHTER. THAT WAS NOT TRUE. LATER HE TOLD MY HUSBAND THAT HE HAD TO LET CHILD PROTECTIVE SERVICES (VAN WASHINGTON) IN ALTHOUGH THEY DID NOT HAVE A WARRANT. THAT WAS NOT TRUE. HE TOLD THE CPS WORKER THAT THERE HAD BEEN FECES ON THE FLOOR WHEN THERE HAD NOT AND THE CPS WORKER DIDN'T SEE ANY EITHER BUT HE CHOSE TO BELIEVE THE OFFICER. I WAS NEVER INTERVIEWED BY VAN WASHINGTON SINCE I WAS AT THE HOSPITAL WITH MY DAUGHTER. HE LATER STATED AT FAMILY COURT THAT I HAD BEEN. MY HUSBAND AND I WERE ORDERED TO CLEAN OUR CHILDREN'S MESSES AND ROOMS WHILE THE CHILDREN STAYED AT MY MOM'S.

I WAS BLESSED TO BE ABLE TO KEEP MY CHILDREN BUT NOW I HAD A PAPER STATING THAT I WAS A NEGLECTFUL MOM. WOW! ALL I LIVED FOR WAS RAISING MY CHILDREN. I WAS NOW BEING TOLD THAT MY LIFE AND ALL I HAD DONE FOR MY CHILDREN (RAISING, LOVING, TAKING TO DOCTORS, THERAPISTS AND GOING TO IEP MEETINGS) WAS WORTHLESS. THAT MEANT I WAS WORTHLESS! I TRIED TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT IF I GOT FOUNDED FOR NEGLECT THAT I WOULD STOP DOING THINGS FOR THEM SINCE THAT'S NOT WHAT NEGLECTFUL MOMS DO. OK, I GUESS WE ALL KNEW THAT WASN'T GOING TO HAPPEN. I DIDN'T WANT TO STOP DOING THINGS FOR THEM. SO, SUBCONSIOUSLY I FIGURED THAT NOW, SINCE I WAS WORTHLESS ANYWAY, I COULD DO ANYTHING THING I WANTED.

I STOPPED GOING TO CHURCH AS OFTEN. I SMOKED. I STARTED SEEKING OUT MEN AND GOING TO BARS SOMETIMES. HEY, WHY NOT, I WAS WORTHLESS, NOTHING I DID MATTERED ANYMORE. AS LONG AS MY CHILDREN WERE CARED FOR, I DIDN'T MATTER! THIS LASTED ALMOST TWO YEARS. I FINALLY REALIZED WHAT WAS GOING ON AND WHY I WAS DOING THESE THINGS. I OPENED UP TO MY HUSBAND AND THERAPIST. MY HUSBAND AND I WERE ABLE TO TALK THINGS OUT.

IN THE MEANTIME, I WASN'T ABOUT TO LET CPS OR MY PROBLEMS KEEP ME FROM HELPING OTHERS. SO, I CONTINUED TO HOST EXCHANGE STUDENTS AND RESCUE ANIMALS. MY DAUGHTER IS NOW DOING MUCH BETTER AND MY FAMILY AND I ARE NOW LOOKING FOR A CHURCH TO GO TO AS A FAMILY. MY HUSBAND WANTS TO ADOPT NOW. ALTHOUGH IT HAS ALWAY BEEN MY DREAM AND I WOULD LOVE ANOTHER CHILD, I'M TOO SCARED TO TRUST SOMEONE TO DO A HOMESTUDY. I JUST DON'T WANT SOMEONE COMING INTO MY HOME AND HATING ON ME AGAIN. I KNOW MY STORY IS MILD COMPARED TO OTHERS BUT MY FEELINGS ABOUT IT ARE REAL. THANKS FOR READING THIS. J